Stories to Tell Future Generations

Before we had you, kids…

…there was a lot of life already between us; we started our family after many miles under our feet, side by side. Good for us, and lucky for you, whoever you are, because we have a lot of stories.

I love stories. I love stories told by elders at kitchen tables and ones buried in handwritten letters or captured on the photographed faces of the people who came before me. Now, it’s your turn, but I won’t make you wait and wonder and search. I won’t put it off till I’ve lived so long the years begin to blur and I lose track. I’ve heard too many exhausting genealogy tales to want that for my future tribe.

To start this series, I’ll first break down our story by the numbers as a way to set the stage:

As I write this, we’ve been married 3 years, together 13, and we’ve known one another for 17, and yet, it all feels new and old all at once all the time. We met in 2001. We started dating in 2005. We married in 2015.

We are in a constant competition as to who will outlive the other. That’s what happens when you’re with someone for a long time. You get a touch morbid (and it’s somehow hilarious to us, but probably not for anyone else…). At the very least, I sometimes find myself thinking I should eat more salad if I’m going to win.

We’ve traveled together outside the U.S. to 7 countries (so far): France, Greece, Ireland, Italy, Mexico, the Netherlands, and the United Kingdom. We’ve traveled together to 15 states. We plan to travel more — as long and as often as we can!

We’ve driven thousands of miles together; we’ve been on dozens of flights. We’ve ridden ferries, buses, and trains. We’ve seen ancient mountains and eaten strange food; we’ve been to nude beaches and dark cathedrals; we’ve cried in museums and hauled home souvenirs. And we’ve had arguments in just about every time zone.

I recommend all of the above.

We’ve neglected at least 5 houseplants. We learned we’re better at keeping things alive if they make noise. Except for Phyllis. Forget our competition — that philodendron will outlive us all.

We’ve worked 25 jobs between us. We’ve worked in hospitals, homes, hotels, offices, schools, and wineries. We’ve worked part-time and full-time. We’ve worked days, evenings, nights, and weekends. Our taxes look insane every year; last year we filed in three states. Our résumés are very, very tired….

We’ve attended 5 colleges. One or both of us enrolled in classes every semester from from 2006 to 2016. We earned 4 degrees between us and shared 3 schools. We spent most of our first decade together in school or at work — or on the road!

We’ve owned 6 vehicles of various function. The most notable, Joey the Jeep, retired from life on the road the year our first child was born. I’d driven Joey since I was 15, and he belonged to my mother even before that (and he returned to his childhood home for his final days).

Joey — and all our vehicles — needed a lot of love [read: patience and maintenance], but they were all dependable in their own ways. So, actually, we spent most of our first decade together in school, at work, or sitting impatiently on a plastic chair in the lobby of an automechanic.

We’ve lived in 2 apartments and a house in 3 states. Our first apartment was in a fraternity house; that’s a good story. We bought our first house when our son was six months old. I knew the moment we crossed the threshold of that house that I was going to bring home our first child. Four months later, I was pregnant.

We’ve almost lost hope hundreds of times and broken everything from cell phones to bank accounts. But we don’t give up on each other, ourselves, or the family we hope to keep building together. We might be angry, we might be distant, but we are Humanists. We are optimistic, and we have faith in the good in people, however buried that may be sometimes.

We also have faith in my iPod from 2005, which is still in its original (and threadbare) sleeve. Just when I think I’ve lost it, there it is… it may even survive the zombie apocalypse (alongside Phyllis, perhaps they have an alliance).

Before you, we had already lived a lot of life between us…

…but now with you, it feels like it’s all just getting started.

I’m hopeful this gives a little background for the stories to come. I don’t plan to write them in order or from only one perspective or in a certain style. They may all be different — one as a flashback, another overly descriptive, or some focused on dialogue, etc. However my Muse strikes me, I’ll get it down for you. Maybe I’ll piece it together someday.

Or maybe you will.